Nicola's North-East Fashion Guidelines

One of the things I've always loved about Newcastle is the eclectic fashion of its population. In Bishop, if you wore anything even slightly 'out there', you wouldn't live to tell the tale.But up here, there's everything - from edgy, to high fashion, to downright chavvy. However, this is not always a good thing - with all this excitement, it's easy to forget how to dress well - but here are a few simple rules if you want to channel that fabulous North-East style.

1. Never Forget Your Body Shape
I am pear-shaped. This means that if I even considered wearing skinny jeans or a short skirt the Fashion Police would lock me up and throw away the key. Some days I would like to wear a five-man tent from the waist down, but this is impractical. I would never be able to fit into cinema seats, and those tiny aisles in shops? Not a chance. (Why is everything so narrow in a country with an obesity problem? Surely it's just cruel). So never try to wear a trend that won't suit you - I promise you you'll only regret it when you see the unforgiving pictures other people upload of you on Facebook. Accept your body shape and move on - they all have pros and cons, and think how boring life would be if everyone was perfect.

2. Accessories
Accessories really define your outfit, and whenever I get a compliment, it's nearly always on an accessory. Belts, bags, necklaces, they're all awesome, and the best way to acknowledge a trend without going OTT and looking like you're on your way to a fancy dress party dressed as a cowboy, sailor, etc. It's also a cheap way to update your wardrobe - always a good thing.

3. Buy Cheap
It's awful when you spend loads on something, only for an identical thing to come out in Primark. And everyone will assume it's from there, and ask you very loudly, so you might as well just give in and be tight! High-street stores always seem to get similar things in, so shop around.

4. Stand Out From the Crowd
Go for something a bit different, and show your personality! Especially if you're a student - I find it ironic that loads of people spend years whinging about school uniforms, then at uni adopt an (awful) uniform of slouchy tracksuits and university hoodies. Why do it??? Don't be afraid to stand out - wear bright, clashing colours, do something crazy with your hair. Use your imagination!

However, the fact that chav is one of the number one styles in the North-East cannot be ignored. Here are some guidelines if you would prefer to stay true to your roots. Note: this cannot be mixed with Rules 1-4. People will only get confused.

5. The Great Velour Debate
Where to begin? This will be covered at length in our WAG training blogs, but basically it's cheap, tacky, and flatters nobody. So if you want to truly fit in in the North-East, buy in bulk - it is the home of the chav after all. While you're at it, get yourself some nice fake Burberry as well, and a pram and paint yourself orange. Awesome.

6. Clothes Sizing
Make sure that your trousers are at least 1-2 sizes too small, so you get that lovely muffin-top effect. Then wear either a huge, baggy top, or one that is also much too small. No item of clothing can fit properly - this cannot be stressed enough.

7. Hair Washing
As a general rule of thumb, your hair should have enough grease in it to fry chips in. Scrape it back into the tightest ponytail you can manage, or let it hang around your face like rats' tails - this is a very versatile look.

8. Accessories
The most popular accessories for the chav look are: pasties, a screaming, neglected baby, huge and obviously fake gold, a packet of cigarettes and the most aggressive attitude imaginable. Don't be afraid to mix and match, and don't ever believe that less is more.